We all start the New Year with the best if intentions, but if you haven’t been able to stick to those shiny new 2018 resolutions, don’t despair. Instead, think of January as your “free trial” month – your resolutions can officially start in February, once you’ve gotten over the shock of the post-holiday craziness. Sounds good, right?
Seriously though, if you’ve been struggling to translate your resolutions into actions, it might be time to take a step back and take stock of what’s really going on.
Are Your 2018 Resolutions Based on Acceptance or Rejection?
When you first made your list of goals and intentions for 2018, what were the motivating forces behind that list? Were you doing it in the hopes of enjoying a happier and healthier year, or because there are numerous things about yourself you dislike and are eager to change? Are they coming from a place of self-acceptance, or self-rejection?
For so many of us, it’s the latter – and that’s why our resolutions simply don’t stick!
Are You “Fixing” a Problem or Embracing a Solution?
Think about the way you’ve worded your resolutions: “I must change this”, “I should improve that”. How would you rephrase these statements if you were suggesting them to a dear friend instead? “This will help you feel healthier”, or “That could be really good for your career”. Immediately, the focus shifts from fixing a problem, to enhancing what’s already there.
This is a principle I apply at my salon. Instead of manhandling a client’s hair into submission, or forcing it to behave in a certain way, I encourage clients to accept its true nature, and then look for ways to bring out the best qualities in that specific hair type. If we could all cultivate this kind of acceptance in every part of our lives, we’d be a planet of far happier people!
Are You “Keeping it Real” with your Resolutions?
It’s great to dream big! But it’s also important to be realistic – especially when it comes to your own personal goals. By all means challenge yourself, but don’t set yourself up for disappointment by over-committing. Shoot for the moon, but be prepared to land among the stars and enjoy the magnificent view.
Do You Really Need More?
A lot of resolutions are based around the idea of “more”. We promise ourselves we will spend more time at the gym, or more time socialising. We aim to make more money, to travel more, to eat more veggies, to read more books… the list goes on and it’s no wonder we’re all burnt out by February!
What if, instead of striving for more, we shift our focus to what it is that we need less of? Less time in front of the TV. Less junk food, less coffee. Less chemical-based products. Less time worrying what others think about us! They say less is more, and I firmly believe this is a great place to start.
Four Principles for a Happier Year
My book, WTF Happened to my Hair! focuses on four key principles that will definitely also ring true to those wondering, WTF Happened to my Resolutions! They are:
- Accept it
- Embrace what you’ve got
- Less is more
- Keep it real
I wrote the book to help encourage more people to make friends with their hair, but I hope that you can use my “WTF Principles” to make friends with yourself.
Let this be the year you resolve to take yourself gently by the hand, and lead yourself to a more accepting, more realistic and ultimately more “real” place. I hope this helps you to see your 2018 resolutions in a healthy new light!
Ren xx